tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387377954976015757.post1510485869336007451..comments2007-10-03T04:31:08.173-07:00Reba Burgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02503309006119376528noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387377954976015757.post-22037496461032906082007-10-03T04:31:00.000-07:002007-10-03T04:31:00.000-07:00<B>Official Essay Feedback</B><BR/><BR/>Overall<BR/>Overall you have completed quite a good essay. Well done.You directly addressed all the criteria with your formatting. Explicitly mentioning more psychological concepts at play, in addition to the social would have boosted your marks. In addition strengthening your marks could be achieved with just a little bit more online enagement.<BR/><BR/>Theory<BR/>You have done a good job on highlighting theory concerning why we have particular stereotypes about mentally ill people (Harward and Bright, 1997) and explore each of these models well. I think it would have been advantageous to address in further detail the use of heuristics in forming stereotypes and what adaptive, or societal function it may have.<BR/><BR/>Research<BR/>Well done on targeting the developmental influences of stereotypes and that children are especially susceptible to themes in media (because of mirroring/copycats) - you could have also explored social learning. You tie this in well with the maintenance factors of stereotypes, but again could have explored the use of heuristics, scapegoating, lack of continued/detailed interaction. Your mention of Huxley (1993) really highlights the contact hypothesis and the importance of interaction to help reduce stereotypes, this would have been a key concept to name drop.<BR/><BR/>Written Expression<BR/>Your introduction is straight to the point but could have been fluffed out a bit to increase readability and perceived relevance to a reader. You have set out each of your sections to address the criteria in an accessible and comprehensive manner. I found the readability of the second half of your essay better than the first part, due to the decrease in really short sentences (e.g. This is commonly found in film and television; The idea of a psychotic murder or maniac is popular). I felt your conclusion was a good summary, but like your introduction too brief and token. Also your title should be more descriptive than "Blog 1"Your APA style requires some work, (in text dates, and reference list italics).<BR/><BR/>Online Engagement<BR/>You have attempted to engage online with other students blogs, sharing your own ideas and information. Well done on attracting a few comments to your pages. For further marks I would suggest sharing a few references with other individuals in addition to other resources and perhaps making a few more postings about tutorials, social psych principles in real life or thoughts about others pages.Orangehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06505161230780190238noreply@blogger.com